You lose some…. You gain some

Ok, I’m going to get sappy, but I must say this and I’m sure I’ll be saying it again. I want to thank all those who have stuck by me through my time of grief. I am still not over the loss of my brother and I have a long ways to go, but doing my best day by day. I know I have lost some friends through all this because…. Yes… A lot of my focus and post are about my brother, but I’ve also made a lot of new friends, who have either lost loved ones or loved ones to homicide. It use to bother me that people who I thought would understand where I was coming from, would unfriend me, but I actually feel sorry for them. This isn’t an easy thing or death to go through, and some who may have lost loved ones would say they understand, and although in some way I’m sure they do, but to constantly know that your loved one was taking in vain by another is just so very unnatural. The nightmares, the thoughts in your head, the not knowing of many things, the why’s, the everyday psychical and emotional pain, the function of your body feeling as if you are ill everyday, etc. Many would not understand me and they never will until they’ve walk in the shoes I have. So, I just wanted to thank those who have been there, no matter how tired they might have been to see another post about my brother. Who read and replied to those posts, who didn’t tell me how to feel, what I should be doing, or questioning why I feel the way I do, when it comes to anything that has to do with my brother’s death. I also want to give a big thanks to those who have helped out with Tim’s celebration, making it a little easier on me. xoxo ♥