I am Brooke Ninni Matthews, one of Tim's sister and the mother of a nephew and niece of Tim's. As one of Tim's older sister's growing up, we had our disagreements and arguments, as siblings do, but we always had a strong bond. The bond became stronger, when our mother became ill, and even stronger at the time of her death, six months prior to Tim's murder, for all the siblings had was each other to lean on. As I am reminded everyday that I do not have my only brother anymore. I try to move on with the memories he left me, his smile, the sound of his voice, his laughter, the visits on his way home from work, when I'd be standing up at the bus stop, the great big hugs, the brotherly joking and love, the way he ate, the way he brushed his hands over his plate every so often as he ate, the way he wore his hats slightly off to the side, memories I will no longer be able to make anymore. There is nothing left, but a wooden box with his ashes, and a chunk of hair that is kept tucked in my pillow case. The morning I learned of my brother's murder, I was admitted to the ER because I turned blue and could barely breath. When I was in the ER the doctor on call became very concerned because I already suffered from previous heart problems. I was put on anxiety medicine and was ordered to see a psychologist and my family doctor. The psychologist diagnosed me with PTSD, depression, anxiety/panic attacks. I barely sleep at night because I have nightmares or picture how my brother was murdered, as he was lying there in his blood. Was he alone, was he asking for any of us, what was his last words, etc? As I struggle with this, I have to keep telling myself, to I and his family he was the hero! When I do finally sleep, I tend to sleep for hours, even days at a time, making me unaware of what's going on with my family and household, leaving my husband and even my 15 year old son having to care for his 10 year old sister. I'm often unaware of things and forgetting to a point that I fear of what I may forget or remember to do. I often feel nauseated, my body aches all the time and I feel as if I am constantly ill. I live in fear everyday for myself and my children, as parents we are suppose to teach our children and allow them to grow, that has not become so easy for since my brother's murder! I feel as if I need to shelter my children, in fear of what might or could happen, and my fear will only become worse, when my brother's murderer is released from prison. In 15 years my only son and Tim's oldest nephew will be about the same age as my brother was at the time of his murder.
Sincerely, Tim's sister Brooke Ninni Matthews
My 16 year olds:
My name is Blake Matthews, I'm 15 years old and in 10th grade. Timothy Reber was my uncle, and the only uncle that made time for me, and I'm sad because he can't go swimming with me anymore. He won't see me graduate, he won't see me get married and start a family. I find that I have to watch and help my 9 year old sister more then I did before. My mom has a hard time allowing me to grow up, and do things kids my age are doing. I often think she has gone crazy! My friends don't visit as much because my mom is always sad and crying, and she doesn't want my friends to see her in that way. My mom use to be very outgoing and like to go places, now she barely leaves the house, unless she has to. My mom also got a call from my Vo-Tech school telling her my behavior has changed, my grades started dropping and I was using foul language with my peers. I also realize that when this guy is out of jail, I will be exactly that same age as my uncle was, and find that very creepy.
Sincerely, Uncle Tim's nephew Blake Matthews
My 10 year olds:
Hi I'm Madeline matthews and I'm 9 years old and in 4th grade. What that bad guy did, was so horrible, that every one in my family is getting sick! Mostly, me and mom. I even have to go to a psychologist now and have to take antidepressant and anxiety medicine! That morning my uncle Timmy died I was laying in my bed and heard my mom screaming and I didn't know, what happened , so I suddenly asked my self, did my uncle Timmy die? Then later that day I went to my aunt Darlene's house, and they told me. Then I cried. I didn't cry to much cause I was choked up in tears .Also,I went into my mom's craft room one day and I told her I missed him. And when I cry that hard I feel empty and dizzy. What that guy did was so horrible. How could he take an innocent person's life away like that!
Sincerely, Uncle Timmy's niece Madeline Matthews
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